It Goes From Bad To Kenny In A Bag
by Shiggity Shags
Summary: Kai and Hilary have disastrous wedding receptions, they flea from their crazed friends, and years later their children mysteriously vanish, what or who is the cause? KaixHilary [Its funny!] Max the drunk, Tyson the human pig..
1. Default Chapter

It Went From Bad To Kenny In A Bag  
  
I DO NOT OWN BEYBLADE!!!! I just like writing about it! Hehe!  
  
Kai and Hillary had the most beautiful wedding; she was a vision of loveliness in her gorgeous white gown. There they walked hand in hand towards the dance floor, everyone in the room looked at them with admiration. Kai looked over to his new bride and a soft smile graced his lips she looked into his eyes and smiled back. Than there song started "Concrete Angel" by Martina McBride. Hillary placed her head against his hard chest and they swayed gently to the music together, loving the feeling of being together in each other's arms.  
  
There beautiful moment was so rudely interrupted by pieces of food that managed to escape the black hole known as Tyson's mouth. "YOU GOT FOOD ALL OVER MY WHITE GOWN" Hillary Screamed.  
  
"PLEASE DONT HURT ME IM SO SORRY" begs Tyson "PLEASE LET ME CLEAN IT OFF" he continues but he only makes it worst by smearing it everywhere.  
  
So Hillary grabs her magical mallet also containing a bit beast and smashes him to the ground leaving him unconscious. But the blow to the head doesn't last long due to the fact that there's nothing in Tyson's head except hot air and the images of food...and lots of it. So slowly and steadily Tyson makes his way over to the food table and begins to eat once more...but just then Tyson's eyes lit up "what's this...a unwatched plate of pigs in a blanket!" and hurriedly begins to eat.  
  
Hillary and Kai continued their dance. Soft sobs could be heard from Hillary over her ruined wedding dress. When suddenly there song changed. Hillary looked up mortified to see what was going on now. The song Macho Man by the village people came on, and everyone watched in fear as a drunken naked Max walked out on to the dance floor wearing nothing but sunglasses and pelvic thrusting every woman he saw, even the transvestite.  
  
Than he danced randomly to the beat of the song, Hillary screamed "GET HIM OFF THE DANCE FLOOR" Max walked up to her, his face red from to much alcohol "Hey baby, you wanna have never ending sexual encounters with the maximezer" "WHAT!!!" Hillary screamed at him, than preceded to run out of the room quickly, but Max followed her. All the while pelvic thrusting mid air. "C'mon baby" Somebody roughly grabbed his neck and pulled him back it was a very angry Kai. He was punched swiftly in the face right between the eyes. All went black for the young blonde. Kai than dragged him out back and threw him into the garbage can. Than walked back inside to be with his bride.  
  
Just as Kai returns to the dance floor he notices a crying Ray in the corner of the room...but he doesn't care and walks away mumbling to himself about how much of a fag ray is. So as Hillary and Kai begin there dance...yet again. Hillary finally feels the emotion called sympathy sends a oddly angered but none the less, still good friend Kenny to see what's going on with Ray. So Kenny reluctantly goes to see what's wrong with Ray."What's wrong with you man, men don't cry...they suppress their "feelings" explains Kenny "*sniff*go away...you wouldn't care" sniffles Ray "You have to tell me" Kenny told him "I'm your friend!"  
  
"*Sniff*...*hick* ok...but...I need a microphone" So Kenny gets ray a microphone. "Test test...one two three...ummm...hi..Everyone my name is ray...AND IM A HOMOEXUAL" "OH MY GOOD GOD " yells Kenny and runs away from the now gay ray Everyone just stared wide eyed at ray and all the guys toke a good long step back from ray and tell him that if he ever touches them...there going to let Tyson swallow him whole Just then Kai walks up to ray and calmly says "Ray...no harsh feelings. But I'm going to have to ask you to leave...its just. To...awkward" .So Ray leaves crying once again and Kai and Hillary start they dance again with hopes of not being interrupted.  
  
Kai leans down to Hillary and kisses her softly, Hillary feels her legs begin to buckle and she holds on to Kai for more support as he intensives the kiss. Suddenly they hear a loud voice yell " TYSON WOULD YOU STOP EATING!" It was Kenny, he looked really angry. And yet Tyson still didn't stop eating. "ARRGG" Kenny yelled as his skin became green and his body became large and muscley. Kai and Hillary stopped dancing and looked over to the scene wide eyed and in shock.  
  
Kenny screamed once more and ripped his shirt off and punched Tyson so hard that he slammed right threw the wall and out into the garbage can with the drunken passed out Max. Kenny's eyes glowed red as he looked around. He looked sharply at Hillary and advanced towards her. He let out a loud laugh as Hillary screamed and hid behind Kai for protection.  
  
Than suddenly Kenny turned back into normal and was naked. He looked down at himself and blushed. "What's going on?" He asked everyone. Than suddenly a woman came up behind him "Hey Chief" Kenny turned around "Dizzy?" he questioned confused "That's right! I'm free" than suddenly she pulled a large black garbage bag from her purse. Dizzy pulled it around Kenny's head and pushed him into the bag. "Well I'm taking off! Later! Congrats!" As she began to walk away from the bewildered guests with Kenny screaming like a boy going through puberty "Get me outta here!"  
  
After they left Hillary sighed, "I say we get remarried" "Yah without anybody else here" Kai told her. He bent down and kissed her once more before heading off to Paris for their honeymoon. 


	2. The second wedding

The Second Wedding  
  
I DO NOT! I REPEAT DO NOT OWN BEYBLADE!  
  
Kai and Hillary had a lovely time in Paris for there honeymoon, now they had been back for quite some time planning there second wedding, with only themselves and family included, do to the fact that there friends had literally ruined there wedding, and Hillary's wedding dress.  
  
They now danced slowly to "I don't wanna miss a thing" by areosmith. "Concrete Angel" brought them bad luck. When suddenly the large oak doors were pushed open, and in walked a drunken Max, a very naked Drunken Max, holding hands with a transvestite. Max was so wasted he didn't even know, he thought he had some hot chick with him. But it was really just some homo dressed as a woman to get some man  
  
Hillary's mouth was agape as she watched Max "What...is..He doing...HERE!" Hillary whispered out in a deadly tone, that told you she didn't want to be messed with. "I don't know dear, calm down I'll take care of this!" Kai told her quickly trying to calm her down somewhat before she blew her casket. Kai swiftly walked up to Max. "I don't recall you being invited" Kai spat out coldly. "Man it's a party man, we just gotta party. Split a 40 just party."  
  
"Well you can PARTY somewhere ELSE" Kai yelled at him as his left eye started to twitch violently. "GET OUT! YOU AND YOUR.."WOMAN" GET OUT OF MY FACE" Kai did some weird karate movement "Waaaaaaa" as he made to kick Max in the crotchal area, but Max backed away and Kai fell backwards, his left eye all the while still twitching. Max bent down to Kai's face "Alright budddyyy i'ma leave, but before I go, lemme give you my present" Max swiftly put his buttocks in Kai's face and farted, and ran away with his transvestite.  
  
Just as the grand oak doors closed the wedding was once again intruded, not by Max, but by the now sickly skinny Tyson "hey guys" sported Tyson. But no sooner had Tyson spoken, that Kai had leaped off the ground from where he had fallen, left eye still a twitching and begun to yell curse words none stop, not even to get a breath. But during Kai's little cussing session a small voice was heard in the background. Kai immediately stopped for he knew it was his bride. "What was that?" asked Kai. "Let him stay, he's skinny now, maybe this time he won't get food on my new gown"  
  
"Hmmmm...Perhaps your right...you may stay Tyson" replied Kai reluctantly. So just the music started again and Kai and Hillary started there dance once more. Tyson just kind of stood confused seeing how he had nothing to, he no longer eats food in the presence of Hillary and Kai, in fear of being beaten up again. So Tyson stuck a random rose that came from nowhere in between his lips and begun to tango by himself. It looked like it was going to be one of the best weddings ever. The music was perfect. The decorations were perfect, and Tyson wasn't eating.  
  
But all good things come to a end as Tyson so stupidly tripped over Hillary's new white gown. Causing him to rip the a big giant hole in dress." YOU RIPPED MY DRESS YOU IDIOT...YOU MAY HAVE STOPPED EATING...BUT YOU'LL NEVER STOP BEING STUPID..NOW GET OUT OF MY CHAPEL BEFORE I SET THE DOGS ON YOU". And with that Tyson left but before leaving. He picks up a large bowl of green goo and throws it at Hillary getting it all over Hillary's now ripped and gooey dress. And as he leaves he lets out a girly little scream of laughter and heads out towards Tim Horton's.  
  
As Kai carried Hillary to the reception, they both noticed that something wasn't right. There in the middle of the room was a black Garbage bag which was wiggling and... Moaning. Hillary hid behind Kai and told him that he should go check what's in the bag. So carefully and cautiously Kai made his way to the bag and slowly tore it opened. In the bag it reveled the naked gagged Kenny. Kai just stared at him for a few moments and then reluctantly help him out hoping that he doesn't stay for the rest of the wedding.  
  
After releasing Kenny from his restraints, he jumped away and shook his fist wildly at him." WHY DID'NT YOU HELPME SOONER I COULDN'T BREATH YOU DAMN DIRTY APE" screamed the now very green Kenny and before Kai and Hillary knew it. Kenny was now very built and very angry.  
  
Kenny looked at Kai and Hillary and soon began to thump on his green chest with his fists. And destroyed random objects just before escaping the building leaving a massive hole in the side of the chapel, he looked at Kai and Hillary with huge red eyes raging with angry and gave them the finger.  
  
Hillary suddenly became very angry, and started breathing very heavily. Kai's left eye still twitched violently, and some random kid kept poking it with a stick to see if it were alive. Suddenly Kai grabbed the stick from the little kid and gave him the scariest death glare he could muster. He looked sharply at Hillary whose breathing had slowed slightly and said "I say we move to Canada, they'll never find us there!" Hillary's face broke out into a huge grin and said, "Oh anywhere that's away from them I'm good!" They raced out the door and off to there new home in Canada. Away from the team. 


	3. Happily Ever After?

**It went from bad to Kenny in a bag**

**Chapter Three**

**Happily ever after?**

**Shags:** Hey guys, I know I haven't updated this story in forever, but their just never seemed much more I could do. But now my twisted mind has come up with more suffering for the characters Hilary and Kai.

Just to make things clear, I do not think Ray is gay, or that Tyson would do any of that kinda stuff okay MAYBE he would So I'm sorry if I offended anyone who read it, it was just a fun thing that came about in my twisted mind when I was extremely hyper, and is not meant to be taken as anything less then humor.

I assume to myself, that I'm probably going to need 2-3 more chapters to finish this.

Disclaimer: I wish..

ON WARDS MY FAITHFUL STEEDS!

Once upon a time, there were two people who'd fallen madly in love with one another. But it seemed that no matter what they did fat would not allow them to be happily wed. The mighty gods from above would sent dark plagues to destroy ever attempt they made at trying to start something.

The star-crossed lovers fled to a remote Island near the coast of Newfoundland, an island so remote and reclusive that the devil himself would not be able to find it. And while they spent their time there the two got comfortable in the way they were living, and decided hey! Why not have babies?

Not even a year into their stay in Newfoundland, Hilary was with child. They couldn't be happier. Secretly Kai had always wanted a sweet little girl to dote upon. Hilary had always wanted a little Mama's boy to spoil rotten.

Little did they know, that nine months later, they would both get their wishes. They were blessed with twins. A little girl and a little boy.

The little boy was given the name Michael and his little sister was given the name Cady. Michael was blessed with the looks of his father in the for the most part, with dark blue/gray hair, but with a slight difference of his piercing ruby colored eyes. Cady was as graceful as a ballet dancer, with her chocolate brown hair and crimson eyes.

Kai and Hilary had spent five wondrous years within the sanctuary of their small cottage in Newfoundland with their children. Without the disruptions of their former teammate, They were blissfully unaware, of how this was about to change..

One day as Michael and Cady were innocently playing at the sea shore collecting sea shells for their mother when all of a sudden there was some rustling in the bushes.

"Michael...what was that!" Cady asked her brother nervously as she hid behind the person who'd always protected her.

"It's probably nothing, a rabbit maybe...IM GOING TO CATCH IT" he yelled as he ran towards the bush with a determined look in his eyes.

But before he'd even made it to the bushes, a giant green thing that slightly resembled a man, and slightly resembled a gorilla jumped out at them his eyes blazing. His middle fingers being pointed at every way, and the F bombs just a dropping. The giant green man lunged at the now crying children and suddenly; everything was black for the two youngsters.

Kenny didn't remember what had happened. He woke up, and was vaguely aware of his surroundings, it seemed that he was on a plane, and was missing a vast majority of his clothing. Suddenly the shy boy turned bright pink. He moved to get up out of the seat, his body becoming stiff. But the pounding in his head, was insistent that he didn't move. Kenny slowly let his eyes shut again, when he heard the sound of whimpering from next to him, he cracked one eye open. He then opened both widely and stared in wonder, at the two little children seated next to him, tied up and gagged. Salty tears running down their cheeks.

"Oh god" Kenny muttered to himself quietly.

"I became the goddamn hulk again. I'm going to go to jail for sure. Who are these kids!" Kenny all but wailed, throwing his hands up in the air in a plea to god.

He then went to the children, and untied them and un-gagged them as quickly as he could, trying his best to remain calm, and put on an innocent exterior. The little boy seated directly next to him glared fiercely, and it strongly reminded Kenny of someone that he had once known.

The little girl looked slightly frightened, but then collapsed in a fit of giggles, and pointed towards his nether regions.

"You have funny things on your body" she managed out in between giggles.

"You must be sick" She continued, and Kenny was sure his face was as red as a lobster " I don't have something hanging out, maybe it should be ripped off" the young girl told him innocently.

Kenny yelped as the thought entered his mind of his male body parts getting ripped off.

"Uh. No little girl, I'm a man, men have, things that girls don't" Kenny explained uncomfortably.

Cady pondered this for a moment, and decided not to say anything, and for that Kenny was grateful. Suddenly a loud voice boomed around them. "We have arrived in Japan"

"JAPAN...WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?" yelled the confused Kenny.

"I have no idea what's going on, first I turn into the incredible hulk, abduct some kids, and am now being ridiculed by some little kid!...AHHHHHHHH!" Screamed Kenny trying to get a grasp of things

When he noticed that the kids sat in their chairs horrified.

"Listen kids, sorry about what happened to you, sorry I yelled, I shouldn't have yelled" Kenny apologized.

There's the third chapter, review and tell me what you think, and if you want how dumb it is lol!

Just please review

It'd make my day!

Shags


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